I have no clue how this child support math works either… Hold on, lemme get a supervisor.
Ok, so this is where this F*CKED UP situation takes a turn from the worst to the outrageous. Here’s some insight to this nonsense… I finally had my first son in my mid 30’s, A TOTAL BLESSING! Seriously, my son means the world to me. However, the situation with his mother is a whole other story; not the easiest person to get along with, nor someone I am compatible with, and just a nightmare of an individual — constantly demeans, belittles, and dumps on me with her pompous, self-righteous, and narcissistic personality disorder. This is why we never worked out, and that’s totally fine — wish I never had to deal with her ever, and put her on my rear-view, but its the hefty price I have to pay for such a blessing that is my child.
With that said, I have had to sink in about $20k just in legal fees, to have the pleasure of being involved in my son’s life, and the costs just keep going up. My child support is pretty pricey for one child, and I have been paying it steadily with Fall of 2019 finally having an end in sight, regarding my arrears (back child support). The way arrears in itself is set up, is set up to MAKE YOU FAIL! Welcome to the SYSTEM, the family law edition. Let me digress here… THE SYSTEM, which is the legal system, from the police, the courts, lawyers, etc.; the entire system is basically set up to make you FAIL. The end goal is to place you in a financial downward spiral, where they place their hooks in you, until you bleed dry. I feel I have had better luck in the criminal lawy system, then in the family law division… So isn’t that sad that a person dealing with family law, has less favorable odds than a person that could be potentially be facing murder charges? That’s no an exaggeration…
So why is this whole family court and the system behind it set up to fail? Well it’s because one way or another, our democracy and capitalistic society is set up to entrap you in a judicial and criminal system that is set up to engulf you in a monetary system, and a maze that once you are in it, you will have no choice but to pay the piper. Whether its traffic tickets, a convicted criminal that is on probation or a parent whom is facing child support. It is a system that is financially based, and with a simple algorithm, where fathers face imbalanced rights, criminals can essentially never be deemed reformed, and tickets lead to other tickets and other fees — this is the judicial capitalistic system, where jails are now corporations, the court is a place that begs to be avoided, and where your privilege of driving always comes with the looming fear of an inevitable ticket, that leads to other tickets, fees, or worse SUSPENSION which leads to more fees and more financial woes.
But lets focus back on family law… The lawyers prey on your vulnerability, and their billing system is not set up on a flat rate system. It preys on your ignorance where a retainer is required, from where service fees are pulled from there… But it’s not as easy as you think… That retainer then leads to more retainers, and god forbid if you are not on retainer, the carte blanche billing goes on and on, with no one having the ability to explain what exactly you are paying for — it’s not a simple services rendered, services paid – god forbid it was that easy. What starts out as a simple $2-3,000 dollar retainer can easily spiral to a $10k or even $50k bill — BUT HOW!? These lawyers ADD everything up, from the simple email, to the phone call, to a follow up visit. And when you are left in the dark and desperate to find out where your case is and the results – they pride themselves in taking advantage of your DESPERATION! And when those calls, emails, and visits occur – just so you can get a clue as to what is happening, this is when the avalanche of billing occurs.
Let’s not forget the ARREARS and the court’s involvement… The arrears begin when the other custodial parent first files with the court, NOT when you establish custodial rights. So if your crazy baby mama filed a year ago, anticipating your filing, but it takes 2 years to find her, pin her down, and get a court date finally – all because of her delays — the court decides to then fuck you over, and make you pay for all that time passed, no mater what the circumstances are. BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER! Let’s say you have been paying your child support, everything required of you for years and years — if the court feels like you are not paying down your arrears fast enough, they can then decide to raise your child support payments, and they can even FREEZE your bank account, if they decide to collect the arrears all in one shot… YUP! You heard me right!!! They can decide to fuck with you at any time, and any day. This my friends is the wonderful world of the judicial system, especially when it comes to family law.
SO what is the lesson to be learned here… The nugget of wisdom to be had here??? The simple answer is… AVOID THE COURT(S) in any way you can! I know that is easier said then done, and you are right? How can you avoid the boogeyman, when we live in a society that is constantly trying to fuck you over? From getting that ticket for a broken tail light… To the fines for having your grass too long… From the unreasonable client that wants all of their money back for no reason… TO a crazy custodial parent whom wants to see you die for no reason? I mean it’s hard to avoid the SYSTEM, it is… But if you do find yourself stuck in this system, KNOW YOUR RIGHTS and demand from the court the bevy of information they are required to provide regarding your particular court matter. You are entitled to have free counsel if you are not doing well regarding your financial means — RESEARCH the attorney you are considering; don’t fall for what google recommends – perform a bevy / multitude of research and always ask for references. But ultimately, try to fly right, and SURROUND YOURSELF with positive well-to-do people, and most of all TRUST YOUR GUT! If someone, somewhere or something doesn’t feel right, then LISTEN TO YOUR GUT AND TRUST IT!
… DAMN MONDAYS!
